A Thin Line between Love and Hate: Based on True Events

I’ve been away from the blog sphere for a while due to the fact I lacked inspiration.  I’ll be the first to admit that I wasn’t consistent with my posts; no discipline.  One thing I took out from all of this is that writing is art that can take years to master.  Evidently to master this art, like every other, you must love it.  Me? I’m convinced that I don’t love it enough to continually drop posts about nothing.  It is for that reason that my blog is nothing more than some of my thoughts, transcribed in the simplest of form, “for hell of it”, nothing more nothing less.  So this is what’s been going through my mind on this past week. 

Research in Motion (RIM abbreviated) is a leading telecommunications company and is renowned for its Blackberry smartphones.   I for one am an enthusiastic owner and manipulator of a white Bold 9780 model.  Like the rest of the world, my handheld allows me to make phone calls (captain obvious), send and receive emails (Hotmail, Gmail, university, etc…), and most importantly send and receive text messages (SMS) and via the hated, then loved, then hated again Blackberry Messenger (BBM).  The latter is a unique feature, it’s an “instant messenger application included on BlackBerry devices which allows messaging between BlackBerry users”.  The BBM application is great for the following reasons:

• Carry on a real-time conversation with friends and colleagues in several different locations -- or carry on several conversations simultaneously.
• Chat with a group.
• Send and receive an unlimited number of messages worldwide for free with no per-message charge.
• Get messages without filling up your inbox.
• Know whether a buddy is online, available or busy.
• Let your contacts know your own availability for instant messaging.
• Manage log-in and contacts as you would if you were using an IM program from your PC.
• Continue using other programs and send and receive e-mails while BlackBerry Messenger is running.
• Invite someone to join your buddy list and start communicating without setting up a separate IM account.
• Be notified by a specific ringtone or vibration setting each time a message arrives from a particular person.

Most notably, the greatest asset is that all communication over BBM is encrypted.  From my limited understanding, each time you send a message to any person listed as a contact, the message is transmitted to one of the data centres and from there it is sent out to the recipient. Yes, talk about security! While this process is safe, it can be vulnerable to network failure.   The reality is that network systems are prone to crash occasionally, and it happened to RIM.  As a result, the repair process may takes more time in some cases than others.  So with that being said, let’s go down memory lane:

“Yesterday (12/24/09) I was having unexplainable issues with my BlackBerry’s network. I couldn’t receive or send emails, couldn’t use Snaptu or Uber Twitter. Couldn’t access Pandora Radio. Couldn’t use Facebook or MySpace. Most importantly, I couldn’t access the internet. It turns out that I wasn’t the only one. No, not by a long shot. Apparently anyone and everyone with a BlackBerry, at least in the US, experienced the same frustrating issues with their network. The cause? Well according the RIM, the company behind the popular Smart Phone, has just posted a public apology for the inconvenience as well as an explanation for why everything crashed over on BlackBerry.com. It turns out that the two new versions of BlackBerry messenger (5.0.0.55 and 5.0.0.56) had some sort of fault that caused a huge network outage.

The newest version, 5.0.0.57, is ready for download and fixes the issues with the two previous versions. RIM highly recommends all Berry users download it immediately to prevent future network crashes from occurring.

For more information, head on over to the official BlackBerry website.

It was certainly a major blow to the company but they bounced back perfectly.  However on October 11, 2011, the network crashed once more (Canada and U.S.).  This time around it was considered the worst disruption of services since 2009. Initially I caught the newsflash while streaming the news on Al-Jazeera, on October 10^th.  Many users in Africa, Asia and the U.K. were deprived access to emails, browsing and of course BBM.  The day after, North America was hit harder than the Ortiz knockout, courtesy of Mayweather.

To make matters worse RIM didn’t make an official statement to reassure the world right away; they should have.  Around my way, I witnessed unimaginable “fuckery” (self-explanatory).  The world went crazy, many panicked, and others threatened to end their relationships with their phones. (C’MON SON).  What I want to know is how many jumped off buildings during this “crisis”.  It’s a good thing I hadn't forgotten how to send an SMS the regular way; you know my phone number to another.  Was all the bickering about BBM being down necessary?  You tell me.

 I never thought much of the term crack berry but after last week, well it goes without saying.  And those broadcast messages (…send this to all your contacts and your service will be restored b.s) drove me insane.  Eventually people (around my way) came to their senses the following day, since everything gradually came back to normal.  I’m happy to say that they’re still in relationships with their Blackberry phones; they gave it “one more chance”.  

Dependence much???

Weekly Drop #7: The most dangerous place for a woman: The Democratic Republic of Congo and war-torn nations

A number of my past dealings with certain women have led me to negative deductions.  In the process of completing the “mission” I tend to lose respect for them for no apparent reason.  It goes to show the type I encounter and pursue, or maybe not.  In the midst of my misadventures there is one woman in my life who I gain new respect for each day; my mother.  As I get older (I’m reaching Kobe Bryant status in 2 months, which means I’m turning 24) I learn to appreciate more and more the person that she is.  The distance between us (8000km, my mother work and resides in Kinshasa, the capital of the Democratic Republic of Congo) is compensated by the unconditional love.   Although today is father’s day (nothing but love for my father), I personally celebrate mother’s day every day.  She continuously helps me in my becoming of a man.  I am not quite there yet but the path is that much thrilling because her guidance and sound advice are equal to a saint’s.  I can’t take anything away from my father, but my mother has taught me the greatest lesson in life – Courage and Patience. “l’homme doit se battre” (a man must fight, in English).

Every time I speak to her I get a reminder of how important a mother/woman is crucial in the life of man.  Because of unfortunate circumstances many don’t have that privilege of having an influential and strong woman as a guide in their lives.  The reason I’m being emotional in this post is because I came across a survey which lists the top 5 countries for women in term of everyday living.  To be honest it did not surprise me as the 5 countries are war-torn and they will remain that way for a while (I’m a realist, not an optimist).  The sad part is my country of origin; Democratic Republic of Congo is ranked second on the list.  Here’s an excerpt of the article in question, courtesy of Aljazeera English:

“Afghanistan has been ranked as the world's most dangerous country for women, with Congo taking a close second position, a Thomson Reuters Foundation expert poll has said. Violence, dismal healthcare and brutal poverty afflicts women in Afghanistan, while in Congo there are horrific levels of rape, the survey conducted by TrustLaw, an arm of Thomson Reuters, said on Wednesday. Pakistan, India and Somalia ranked third, fourth and fifth respectively in the global survey of perceptions of threats ranging from domestic abuse and economic discrimination to female foeticide, genital mutilation and acid attacks. "Ongoing conflict, NATO airstrikes and cultural practices combined make Afghanistan a very dangerous place for women," Antonella Notari, head of women change makers, a group that supports women social entrepreneurs around the world, said.” The poll was put together based on “overall perceptions of danger” as well as six specific risks in those countries.  The experts who assembled the poll determined the 6 risks as follow: 1) health threats, 2) sexual violence, 3) non-sexual violence, 4) cultural or religious factors, 5) lack of access to resources, and 6) trafficking.  I can’t imagine how harsh life must be for these women who must fight daily to survive.  What pains and touches the most is the treatment of the women in the Congo: “Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC), still reeling from a 1998-2003 war and accompanying humanitarian disaster that killed 5.4m people, came second mainly due to staggering levels of sexual violence in the lawless east. More than 400,000 women are raped in the country each year, according to a recent study by US researchers. The United Nations has called Congo the rape capital of the world.  "Statistics from DRC are very revealing on this: ongoing war, use of rape as a weapon, recruitment of females as soldiers who are also used as sex slaves," Clementina Cantoni, a Pakistan-based aid worker with ECHO, the European Commission's humanitarian aid department, said. "The fact that the government is corrupt and that female rights are very low on the agenda means that there is little or no recourse to justice." Rights activists say militia groups and soldiers target all ages, including girls as young as three and elderly women. They are gang-raped, raped with bayonets and have guns shot into their vaginas.” For the reason that the misfortune of some women is so great, I find it impossible not to respect and cherish them.  I was privileged enough to travel to the motherland last summer (first time in 13 years) and I couldn’t help but see the pain and suffering in the eyes of many of them.  Despite the shocking statistics on the rape crisis in the Congo, I remain somewhat in peace knowing that my mother is far removed from the conflict zone (the war zone is the lawless East, in Kivu).  I get emotional every time we speak because I recognize that unlike her, many women are involuntarily trapped and face atrocities. In the course of my second year of my undergrad in University, I took a course called “women, justice, and victimization” (mainly to meet women, and to learn what feminism was all about).  When I look back on the issues we discussed in class, such as equal par between men and women, prostitution etc… I can’t help but laugh at how lesser those problems are in comparison to women in the 5 worst countries.

Weekly Drop #6: The Facebook Fatigue: The Social Network becoming less social

“It was all good just a week ago”
-Jigga Man

As I write this, the popular social network Facebook has 700 million users and still growing.  Up until now, Facebook averaged about 20 million new users per month; however this figure is dropping fast.  You can call it the “Facebook fatigue”.   The social network website site added 11.8M new users in May, down from 13.9M in April.   In some Western countries, the diminution of new users is remarkable enough and Facebook should be concerned about its future.  Anyone remembers Tom and Myspace? (It was all good just a week ago)  In Canada alone, there was a drop of 1.52M users in May, meanwhile the UK, Norway & Russia all saw losses of more than 100,000 users.  The biggest drop happened in the United States, with a drop of 6M users since May.  Fortunately for Facebook, yours truly is still a devoted user - that is until I upgrade my old and scratched up Blackberry curve for the Iphone 4. (I heard that Apple is making major upgrades to its Twitter application by the way). 

 For the Facebook addicts, stop monitoring your friends list so closely.  If you realize that the number of friends is on the low (you got deleted), it’s imaginable that your Facebook friends opted for real life adventure instead; life goes on.  What I mean is: It shouldn’t come as a surprise if they ditch their accounts for good (I take my Facebook friends very seriously, can’t you tell?)  On a positive note, Facebook will be pleased about the addition of 11M Mexican new users who recently signed up (yes Facebook is somewhat new to Mexico, no joke).

I couldn’t help but reminisce about some of the fukkery (you can add this word to your repertoire, don’t forget to quote the source – me) which came with the phenomenon that is Facebook.  It seems people forget that once something is uploaded on the internet, it remains on the internet (even this amazing blog).  These Facebook” incidents “made me laugh, some had me shaking my head in disbelief (SMH as the cool people say), and at times I cried (from laughing hard of course).  Here are a few videos for your entertainment”:

Bangs- Meet me on Facebook

 

Father Gives His Nephew An Old School Azz Whoopin On Webcam For Acting Hard On Facebook

Father Goes Crazy When He See's Dirty Text Messages From A Boy All On His Daughter's Cell & Facebook

2 Arrested In Facebook Murder For Hire Plot In Philly

 Man Tries To Do Real-Life Facebook & Twitter

Woman Gets 152 Facebook Friends Tattooed On Herself

All jokes aside I could care less about the number of users on the Facebook network, I am one of them.  Quite frankly the man (Zuckerberg – the founder if you didn’t know) is already a legend in his own rights hence all through the slow death of Facebook, he’ll live.  His goal is still to reach 1 billion users which I’m sure he will accomplish.  Regrettably (not really) at this rate it’ll take longer than anticipated.  He’s a genius though so I’m sure he’ll find a way.  He could always cheat and create numerous bogus accounts until he reaches 1 billion on paper (perhaps he has already done so), but then again smart people don’t need to cheat.

Weekly Drop # 5: The institution of marriage: What keeps divorce lawyers in business

"I'll love you when your hair turns grey girl
I still want you if you gained a little weight, yeah
The way I feel for you will always be the same
Just as long as your love don't change (no)
I was meant for you and you were meant for me, yeah
And I make sure that I'll be everything you need, Yeah
Girl the way we are is how it's gonna be
Just as long as your love don't change"

– Musiq Souldchild " Don't change"


 I've come across reports on the increase in divorces as the economy is on the road to recovery. Apparently the economic crisis impacts a person's decision to call it quits as divorce is not cheap. I thought about it and it makes perfect sense to me. No one wants to live alone and broke at the same time. On the other hand the thought of two individuals who hate each other living together simply for financial stability is a problematic. Quite frankly, I wouldn't mind living alone (meaning without a significant other, my family will always be there), as long as I'm financially stable and in good health. Perhaps what concerns me with the most is I can’t predict the future, so what If I am one those individuals? Certainly I won’t let it happen, but I've learned that life is unpredictable therefore and we must weight all possibilities.

Last week I learned something new - quite interesting actually. I learned that Malta, a Southern European country situated in the center of the Mediterranean (93 km south of Sicily and 288 km east of Tunisia) is one of the two remaining countries that still bans dissolution of marriage (aka divorce). Good for them I thought, until they held a referendum to vote on for the legalization of divorce. As a result apart from the Vatican city-state (Pope Country), the other country that bans divorce is the Philippines (Manny Pacquiao anyone?). Accordingly: "The divorce measure was passed by a majority of 53.2 per cent of those who cast ballots". (Shout-out to Al-Jazeera).

Here is an excerpt of the article in question:

"Arthur Galea Salomone, spokesman for the anti-divorce campaign, admitted "the people's choice was clear, they opted for the introduction of divorce". Divorce legislation is likely to squeeze through parliament as Gonzi's ruling Nationalist Party has the slimmest of majorities - one seat - and analysts have said at least one of his MPs had backed the "yes" campaign. The Roman Catholic Church did not campaign officially in the referendum. However, Paul Cremona, Valletta's archbishop, had warned church goers in a letter they face a choice between building and destroying family values. "By this vote, the citizen will either build or destroy. A choice in favor of permanent marriage is an act of faith in the family, built upon a bond of love which cannot be severed," said the letter, read out at masses. In addition, priests have reportedly threatened to refuse communion to those who vote "yes" in the referendum. Marriages can only be annulled by the Catholic Church's Ecclesiastical Tribunal in a complex and rare procedure that takes around eight years. The only exception to the divorce ban is for Maltese married to foreign nationals or Maltese who are permanent residents abroad." – Al Jazeera

See the official and dominant religion in Malta is Catholicism, no wonder why the church would be mad at such news. The reality as the Maltese people have discovered is that divorce is something which cannot be ignored any longer, hence the crumbling of the institution of marriage.

I'm far from a marriage counselor but I do recognize certain characteristics which lead to divorce. If I was in a position to advice though, I would certainly suggest the following: don’t settle for less. As a teen my definition of a successful life was: owning a Bentley, a condo overlooking the ocean somewhere, a sexy ass wife with whom I would procreate a lot of babies, and most of all live freely. If you ask me the same question today, I'll opt for an E-class Benz (got to be realistic on the Bentley eh), a condo in the city, many kids, and still live freely. No, I didn't forget to add the "good looking wife" part, but I simply realized that I will not marry because I have to settle down (accidental pregnancies…things of that nature), but because I want to. I will not marry because society defines marriage as an accomplishment, for all I know the current trend is divorce. In my view, the moment you settle for less (smh at all the captain save-a-ho out there), the differences between you and your soon to be ex-wife/husband are more apparent, thus divorce is more likely.

My views on the institution of marriage have changed overtime. I didn't question it much growing up because I didn't know much. As I experienced relationships, might it be I or simply noticing others, I am convinced that the institution of marriage is failing in North America (we are more liberal and progressive than the rest of the world). Even my beloved Congo, where marriage represents a great honor for families and individuals, the divorce trend is on a rapid growth. With the recent development in Malta, I've come to the realization that marriage is nothing more than an expected event in one's life from family, society, and your religion. The Philippines proudly hold the title as the sole country that bans divorce – I could always become a citizen.

Weekly Drop #4: Self-help books for the helpless

“No idea’s original, there’s nothing new under the sun/ it’s never what you do, but how it’s done”- Nas

I'm convinced that there is nothing new under the sun, like the saying goes. (nihil novi sub sole –in Latin).  Everything that is said and done has a precedent one way or another.  For that matter, I'm never quite surprised at certain events since it’s nothing new.  In fact, what I am saying right now has been said before.

A couple years back a female friend of mine offered me a gift in the form of a book.  She knew I enjoyed reading, thus it made perfect sense to buy me a book.  Aside from knowing how much I enjoyed reading, she gave me this particular book with the pretext that she was helping me become a better person.  I have a terrible memory but I do remember that around the same time she gave me this book, I wasn’t a good person per se.  NO I wasn’t doing drugs, I wasn’t rebelling, I wasn’t  doing  any of that absurd stuff.  I suppose I took many things for granted and mistreated those around me.  This book was her way of telling me “MBUYI you need to change, I care about you”, or something along those lines. 

The title of the book was “Become a Better You: 7 Keys to Improving Your Life Every Day” by Joel Osteen.  At first glance, I recognized the face on the cover; I had seen him before on BET, during later hours programming.  Although I was sceptical, I decided to read the preface at least. (My female friend praised Joel Osteen and gave the book great reviews – her friend had read it too).   By the second paragraph, I was discouraged; it was a bunch of repetitive I was well too familiar with.  But most of all, I was annoyed because she had fallen victim to another moral preacher (he’s a pastor – check his earnings, I can’t knock his hustle though) who writes self-help books with the facade of helping vulnerable souls.  I am very stubborn by nature (ask my parents), so there was no way I was going to even consider Joel Osteen’s “help”.  

This is the book description from Publishers Weekly:

“Mega church pastor and bestselling author Osteen follows up Your Best Life Now with this disappointingly unoriginal Christian self-help book. The seven sub titular steps to improvement include instructions to develop good habits, better relationships and an inner life. Osteen balances mind-over-matter pep talks with claims that God wants to bless faithful people with successes. The future is always promising, because God never performs His greatest feats in your yesterdays. At the same time, in order to receive God's blessing, one must back up prayers with action, obey, maintain a positive attitude toward life and do the right thing with the right motives. Some of Osteen's advice is sound; for example, he suggests that if you are forgiving and kind to colleagues and friends, they'll cut you slack when you have crabby days. Other suggestions—like writing down a big goal and posting it on your mirror or desk—are unremarkable. Laced throughout are anodyne first-person vignettes; Osteen struggled with frustration when his favourite restaurant announced a 45-minute wait. The hurried Osteen went to a nearby burger joint, only to have a brief encounter that changed another customer's life. Voilà—God turned Osteen's disappointment into blessing! Though this book is destined for strong sales, it offers nothing innovative.”  The writing in bold (I purposely did this) is self-explanatory.  

The book can be shortened in 7 key steps, as the title put forward.  The 7 steps are as follow:

1. Keep pressing forward
2. Be positive toward yourself
3. Develop better relationships
4. Form better habits
5. Embrace the place where you are
6. Develop your inner life
7. Stay passionate about life

If you had loving parents, friends, even neighbors growing up, I bet my fortune (I’m really an African Prince by the way) that you’ve heard those words of “wisdom” before.  If you didn’t have loving parents or unfortunately no parents at all, I am sorry.  The difference is, it was genuine, free of charge, and quite frankly you didn’t have to read (who likes to read nowadays) a book.  I AM NOT MAD at Joel Osteen and the likes of (Eckhart Tolle, Neale David Walsh etc…) at all.  There are people who genuinely need help, guidance, and need to be shown the way especially during difficult moments.  I also know that there are other ways to cope with whatever you’re going through than to enrich the likes of Pastor Osteen.  The way things are going, I plan to write a self-help book in the near future targeting vulnerable individuals to enrich myself. (I hope you’ll buy it and support me by the way).  I admire his hustle, but not so much people who continue to enrich him.   

Everything has a precedent, a past; there is nothing new under the sun.  Self-help books don’t necessarily help people.  Their primary goal is to maximize profits for the author; secondly they hopefully make some people feel good about themselves.  To this day, I still don’t know what happened to my copy of “Become a Better You” (it got me thinking what I did with it) When it comes to self-help books for the “helpless”, I beg to differ.

 

Weekly Drop #3: Summer of ’05 revisited: As I reminisce…

The summer of 2005 was a memorable year in music(less garbage than today), especially during the summer.  I remember being 17 years old, and that particular summer symbolized the come up for my friends and me.  In my opinion the music is what made it special.  Who can forget the 40 oz Old English from the beer store?  The taste was awful, but the music always made it better.  As I reminisce, here are some of the bangers we jammed to at the club, at house parties, and at the basketball court on my old block. (Central Ave.)

Weekly drop # 2: Real life soap opera - my alternative to the Young and the Restless

I can honestly say I've watched a few minutes of that popular soap the Young and the Restless – and I hated it. Personally, I can’t get into the slow pace, back and forth bickering and a never-ending story. The continuous dialogue between the characters on top of the terrible acting has kept me away from television soaps. They're too unreal for my liking. Au contraire, I do enjoy following the news. To me the news is a form of soaps, but realistic to the bone. I call it "real life soap".

I was off work the entire week, a short break that I enjoyed very much. I had just completed the winter semester in school hence I was looking forward to kicking back and taking it easy. When I wasn't sleeping, I made use of my Netflicks account. (The selection sucks in Canada) I have a high regard for French cinema, thrillers, drama, or action. I recommend that you Google Luc Besson, and you can thank me later. When I wasn’t watching movies I was streaming live news broadcast from AL Jazeera. On May 9th, it felt as if I was watching soap while following the news. The news made for great entertainment, cheers to the U.S., Pakistan, and India.

The story line goes a little like this: On May 1st, the U.S. president addressed the nation and confirmed that Osama Bin Laden had been found and killed by U.S. Special Forces, in Pakistan (If you haven't heard the news now you know). I was fascinated by this piece of information so I dogged deeper. Understand this; Osama's hideout was a 1 million dollars compound located in Abbottabad. “Abbottabad is home to three Pakistan army regiments and thousands of military personnel and is dotted with military buildings. BBC News described the army site as the country's equivalent to West Point”. To add to the drama, the U.S. government has dispensed billions of dollars in aid to the Pakistani government to fight terrorism. How could the most wanted man on the face of the planet
get under their nose? Was Pakistan aware of Bin Laden's hiding place? As the entire world scrutinized Pakistan, India seized the opening to throw jabs at their neighbour. Here’s an excerpt from an article.

"India, too, has said that Osama's presence in Pakistan showed that Pakistan provided shelter to terrorists. India has been saying for a long time that terrorists who cause problems for India are easily able to take shelter in Pakistan. Pakistan of course, has always denied (said no) to this, but with Osama being discovered so close to its capital city, it will be hard for Pakistan to convince other countries that it has done no wrong." This right here is a classic case of kicking someone when they're down. You know that saying: “politics as usual"?


The best is yet to come, I kept telling myself. At this point, the drama was great but I was still anticipating Pakistan’s reaction to the finding of Bin Laden in their backyard. What happened next didn’t disappoint. Pakistan denied the allegations without taking any kind of responsibility. Did the world expect the Pakistani government to come out and blatantly say: “yes we hid Osama, he’s been living here for the past 6 years?” of course not, I didn’t expect it. The PM’s rhetoric made me laugh a little; now I really couldn’t take him seriously. Prime Minister Yousuf Raza Gilani, in his first address stated: "It is disingenuous for anyone to blame Pakistan or state institutions of Pakistan,
including the ISI and the armed forces, for being in cahoots with al-Qaida,". You know what PM Yousuf Raza? Time will tell, and I cannot wait to see how it ends.


I am still not quite ready to watch daytime soap operas i.e. Days of our Lives. However I’ve found a great alternative in the news. They offer the same elements: drama, terrible acting, but at least its real life.